A thorn, an echo
by dualce
Summary: 10 seconds is all it takes for Kotetsu to lose his memory, and Antonio feels obligated to help him regain his memories and protect him, like a best friend would. Or a boyfriend, but that's not how either of them remember it. (Rated T for swearing.)
1. 10 seconds, 10 years

No profit intended, and I don't own a damn thing of this. I just had this idea stuck in my head, and so here we go...Antonio/Kotetsu memory-loss fic. Sorry? (Also my mind's a bit fuzzy on details from the show, so if I'm making/messing something up, please let me know!)

...

_A thorn, an echo_

...

_It is better to be a thorn in the side of your friend than an echo. – Emerson_

...

10 seconds into the fight, Antonio shows up.

10 seconds too late.

Kotetsu gets hit by a blast. Not uncommon, and Antonio doesn't think anything of it, besides the usual spike of concern for Kotetsu's safety. But Kotetsu's wearing the Wild Tiger suit, and he's taken thousands of hits before, and always come out (mostly) okay.

So Antonio does what he always does. Activates his power. Runs into battle.

He's wearing a suit, too.

It's not until later that they figure out something's wrong. It wasn't a normal hit, or a normal explosion, that knocked Kotetsu out. Some kind of _NEXT_ thing, but they don't know for sure, because the bad guys got away.

10 seconds too late.

Antonio lumbers over to Kotetsu, stirring on the ground. He flips a piece of concrete out of the way with a grunt, and stands over Kotetsu with his hands on his hip.

"Get up, lazy bum! You missed out on all the action."

Kotetsu stares at him, or at least his mask is looking directly up at Antonio. He's slow, knocked a bit senseless (even more so than usual, Antonio thinks), so Antonio catches his forearm and hauls him up.

Kotetsu struggles with his helmet, flips the front visor up, and stares.

"Hey. Did you get knocked out that bad?" Antonio grabs the ring on his helmet and opens it up, too. He leans down, studies Kotetsu's eyes, searching for a tell-tale waver.

"Lopez? What the hell are you doing here?"

"Excuse _me_," he shoots back. "Doing my job! Unlike you, ya bum."

Kotetsu stares.

"What job?"

Antonio pauses. This is when he feels the first spike of true concern.

"Wild Tiger?" he asks, slowly.

"Huh?"

Uh oh.

...

Brook's not here, although he should be. Did someone call him? Should _I_ call him? Antonio wonders for the third or fourth time as he sets another piece of his armor to the side of Apollon Media's company vehicle. They've got the suit off of Kotetsu, Antonio and the small, soft spoken guy, and Antonio's in the process of removing his own suit. He really shouldn't be, not here, in another sponsor's van, but it's too heavy to move around, and he's got to keep an eye on Kotetsu.

Kotetsu is stroking his suit, hanging up, looking around the van, touching everything he can. He even tries to push several red buttons, the fool, and the small guy has to knock his hand away and push him back towards the couch in the middle.

Antonio finally gets his armor off and sits down heavily on the opposite couch.

"Alright," he sighs, and he's about to start thinking up a plan when Kotetsu interrupts him.

"Hey, are we rivals again?" Kotetsu asks. He's clamped on to the hero business damn quick, that's for sure.

"Yeah," Antonio replies. "We work for different companies. We fight the same bad guys, though, for points."

Kotetsu _hmmphs_ at the mention of points.

"So we're on the same side," Antonio emphasizes, just in case Kotetsu was thinking otherwise.

Kotetsu flips him a lazy smile. "I knew that already!"

Antonio feels relieved. He still remembers that bad time when no one remembered Kotetsu, when Maverick made them believe he was a murderer. He feels...he can't stop thinking about it, sometimes, but. Now's not the time for that.

"Just like school, eh?" Kotetsu smiles at him, almost fondly. Good, so he didn't lose all his memory. Antonio smiles back.

"So, where's Tomoe?"

His smile falters.

The small guy saves him from answering, thankfully. He comes over and whispers something.

"What?" Both him and Kotetsu lean forward to catch what he's saying.

"...temporary. There's a chance it will wear off, it's hard to say until we know more about this _NEXT's_ power. Catching them should be our top priority, but until then..."

He looks between Antonio and Kotetsu and mutters something else.

"What'd you say?" Kotetsu and Antonio practically bump heads, bending over to hear the guy.

The guy yells. "Take care of him!" He waves furious hands in Kotetsu's direction.

Take care of...? Yeah, Antonio guesses he should. He's his best friend, after all. That and the other mind-wipe incident is enough for Antonio to haul himself to his feet and once again, extend his hand to Kotetsu.

"C'mon, I'll take you home. Or to Brooks," he mutters as an after thought.

...

Kotetsu is staring at every building like they're made of diamonds, or gold, or both. Antonio suspects some of them could be, at least the fancy up-town ones. Kotetsu's acting like a tourist, like he's never been here. Like he hasn't lived here for over ten years.

"Kotetsu?"

Kotetsu is spinning, hands in his pocket, eyes to the sky. "Yeah?"

"What's the last thing you remember?"

Kotetsu looks back down to the ground, although as far as Antonio can tell, his mind's still flying high. "Uh...let's see. I remember fighting you, saving Tomoe, going home, moving here, getting a suit – not as fancy as _that_ one, though."

So he remembered high school, and becoming a hero, up 'til Tomoe. Did he remember his daughter? Antonio was loath to bring it up. It seemed like he already would have to bring up Kotetsu's late wife, and the thought of that was like a stone in his stomach.

"I don't remember you wearing anything that big and clunky, either..."

Antonio hadn't become a hero right away, like Kotetsu had, and it wasn't until a year later had he made his debut. His first suit had been a lot more streamlined, it was true.

"It's not that bad!" Antonio had his own private thoughts about his current hero costume, but he'd be damned if Kotetsu badmouth his suit. "Your little wimpy one was hardly any better." Always getting torn, hanging off his body. He'd be practically naked by the end of a day.

That's probably why he wore it, actually.

Kotetsu was looking at the sky again. Of course, the city'd changed a lot in ten years, what with the _NEXTs_ and the heroes and Wild Tiger wreaking havoc.

"So, where are we going? Home?"

"Uh." Where did he think home was?

"Where's Tomoe?" Kotetsu asked again, and the stone in Antonio's stomach doubled in weight.

"Tomoe...what do you remember?"

"We're married." The look on Antonio's face must have been bad enough for him to ask, "Aren't we?"

Antonio looked away, trying to compose his expression, and Kotetsu's tight grip on his bicep made him look back.

"Lopez."

"I – she died," Antonio says, looking into Kotetsu's eyes. He's wearing his mask, like usual, but for a moment he looks like a stranger.

Antonio had to do this once before, in the days after Tomoe died, when Antonio took him to the bar and got him drunk, drunker than he already was, and Kotetsu never said anything about Tomoe. Talked about everything in the weather, but never once about Tomoe. Kotetsu cried, silently, and talked about nothing.

"How?" His hand tightens, and Antonio will have a bruise tomorrow.

"Cancer."

Kotetsu actually looks relieved, and Antonio – doesn't want to know. It's hardly the biggest thing right now.

"Oh." Kotetsu doesn't say anything else. He stares off into space, somewhere behind Antonio, and Antonio lets him process the information. After awhile, he touches Kotetsu's hand – still on his arm – and Kotetsu swings back into himself. He drops his hand, reaches back to scratch his head.

"Huh."

Throat tight, Antonio swallows. "Yeah."

Kotetsu looks back at him, _really_ looks at him. More than he's looked in a long while, a little part of Antonio thinks, deep inside of him, and he squashes that voice mercilessly.

Kotetsu smiles. "We're friends, aren't we?"

Antonio nods. They're still gazing at each other, eyes locked, and Kotetsu is really _looking_, for once. Looking at him like he looks at Kaede, or at Brooks.

"More than that," Antonio hears himself say, and probably his eyes are widening in shock just like Kotetsu's are.

"Eh?"

"I mean, uh." Why the _hell_ did he say that? _Idiot, idiot_, he fumes at himself. "We're friends. Let's go. Where do you want to go?"

"What?"

"I'm taking you back to your house, okay?" That hadn't been the plan, originally, Antonio was going to take him to his place, call Brooks, let him sort out his partner. He doesn't even _want_ to call Brooks now, not for many reasons, not for the dumbest reason that barely exists.

"No, what do you mean, _more_ than that?" Kotetsu is following him, at least, although he's doggedly pestering him. It's like he's his old self. That's good, Antonio can focus on the crappy part of his personality and not think about what he just said.

"Lopez."

Years of keeping a secret, and ten seconds of Kotetsu staring in his eyes is all it takes to blurt it out.

(10 years too late.)

"Hey! I'm asking you a question, Lopez!"

Antonio's going to be angry at himself later, but right now he needs Kotetsu to stop asking him questions.

"Lopez!"

"It's Antonio!" He snaps, whirling around to loom over Kotetsu. Antonio still hopes that one day he can scare Kotetsu into submission with his superior height and weight, but today is not that day. "For the love of – we're friends, call me Antonio!"

Kotetsu leans back as Antonio looms over, but he's not in the least bit perturbed.

"More than that."

Antonio twitches. Once again, they're staring into each other's eyes.

"Right?" A beat, and then, quietly, Kotetsu adds: "Antonio."

Wild Tiger wins again. Antonio sinks back. "Kotetsu," he starts, but where to begin?

"Best friends."

Kotetsu nods. He accepts this with no comment, and he believes it, Antonio can tell. He _believes_ the things that Antonio is saying, all of it. It'd be so easy just to say –

"Boyfriends."

Antonio can barely believe the words are coming out his mouth, but he can't pretend he hadn't been thinking them. He knew it, knew what he was doing, and the lie wraps around him immediately, strangling.

But then Kotetsu nods, again, thoughtfully, and it feels _good_. There's relief, too, in not being caught immediately in the lie, but also – a small opening, a possibility, an ember of happiness. Waiting to be sparked.

Kotetsu ambles down the street, one hand in his pocket, one stroking his bearded chin.

"Let's go home," Kotetsu waves a hand at him, and Antonio catches up, starts leading the way. It's hard to say if Kotetsu believes him, but he seems satisfied. He follows Antonio all the way to his apartment without asking questions.


	2. One thing at a time

Again, I don't own anything, or make any profit, etc. Just going to keep throwin' these chapters up here...

...

Antonio is a terrible person. He thinks about this the whole way to his apartment, mind whirling around in circles at a speed that only Sky High could fly with. He'd lied to his best friend, for no good reason. Other than the look in his eyes, and that's the dumbest, sappiest thing Antonio's ever thought.

He unlocks the apartment and lets Kotetsu in. Kotetsu walks in like he's never been here before, and he hasn't. Antonio always takes him home after a night of drinking. Kotetsu always sleeps at home, and Antonio has never quite figured out why, but he thinks it has to do with Tomoe. Maybe Kotetsu misses her, or something. Maybe he has to lay the ghosts to rest every night. Who is Antonio to judge? He'd never married, never had anyone in his life for that long.

(Except for Kotetsu.)

Antonio's place is a decent size, and kind of cluttery, although nothing's on the wall or set out on shelves. He picks stuff up to decorate with, and then never gets around to doing it, so it's kind of mess. He hadn't had anyone over in a long time, though, so it hadn't seemed important until now, when Kotetsu's stepping over all the shit lying in the hallway.

"Sorry," Antonio mutters, and bypasses Kotetsu in the hallway so he can flip on the kitchen and living room light.

Kotetsu doesn't say anything, just shrugs. He studies the room, circles it, while Antonio gets them some water in the kitchen.

"Hungry?" Antonio calls, and stares into the refrigerator. He could make fried rice, he figures. That would make Kotetsu feel better.

No reply makes him turn around. Kotetsu's not in the living room.

"Kotetsu?"

"Where's my stuff?" Kotetsu says, muffled, and Antonio follows the sound of his voice into his bedroom. Kotetsu is standing there, scratching the back of his head.

"What?"

"My things," Kotetsu says slowly. "My clothes and – you know, _stuff_?"

Antonio's stomach clenches. Shit. "Oh, well." He has no excuse, so he reverts back to the truth. "We don't live together." The _yet_ is implied, hanging between them.

Or Antonio is just imagining things. Again.

Kotetsu is still gazing around the room, but he shrugs after a second. "Okay," he says, and then spins around to Antonio. "Do you have any fried rice?"

Antonio makes fried rice. Kotetsu doesn't help, just lazes in the chair in the living room and watches Antonio. He'd taken off the mask, finally, and keeps his thoughts to himself, although he asks Antonio a couple questions about heroing. Fortunately that's easy enough for Antonio answer truthfully.

Mid-way through eating, Antonio's phone rings. He checks the screen, and it's Brooks.

"Hey," Antonio grunts into the phone, getting up from the table to go to his bedroom. He doesn't look at Kotetsu. He shuts the door to his room. "So -"

"Where's Kotetsu? Is he okay?" Everything about Barnaby Brooks, Jr. is cultured and smooth, including his voice.

"Yeah, fine," Antonio answers. "He's fine. He's with me."

"What happened?"

"He – there was a NEXT, and when I got there –"

"They were gone." Brooks' voice isn't accusing, he's just stating a fact. Antonio feels his hackles rise, anyhow.

"Listen, kid – you weren't there, you don't know –"

"What did they look like? How many? Names? Do you have information?"

Of course he did, he gave it all to the cops before he left with Kotetsu. Antonio grits his teeth and gives Brooks the short version, anyways. He's just helping his partner, after all.

His partner. His _hero_-partner. Not like Antonio's lie about _partner_ partners. Somehow, listening to Brooks on the phone, he doesn't feel so bad about the lie. So what? He'd been there for Kotetsu for years, and Brooks had just showed up. He – he knew how to take care of Kotetsu better than Brooks ever would.

"What's your address? I'll be –" Brooks starts, but this time Antonio cuts him off.

"No. He's fine, I'm taking care of him. There's nothing you can do that will make him remember, anyways."

"You don't know that," Brooks says in that clipped, dead-sure-of-himself way. The kind of voice Antonio hates. Not that he _hates_ Brooks, he just gets annoyed at the kid, thinking he knows what's best for Kotetsu and everyone in Stern Bild. So high on his pedestal, and Antonio wants to push him off.

"You don't know either," Antonio points out sharply.

"I'm his partner."

"_I'm_ his –" best friend, fake-boyfriend, real idiot. All of the above. None of which he can admit to.

"One thing at a time," Antonio manages to growl out instead. "He just learned his wife died."

That shuts Brooks up. Antonio hears the intake of a sharp breath over the phone. "I see."

"Yeah, I think you don't," Antonio says, and slams the phone shut. Childish, but satisfying.

"Who's that?"

Antonio lurches around to see Kotetsu leaning in the doorway, arms folded across his chest.

"Uh, your – your partner. Hero partner. In the company." Any way that Antonio tries to frame it, it sounds bad.

Kotetsu nods again. Looks thoughtful. Calm. Then he leaps forward and slaps Antonio's shoulder. "He sounds like a real ass! Giving you a hard time, huh?"

Antonio's tongue lies like a brick in his mouth. "I –"

Kotetsu's palm is warm across his shoulder. "And why do I have a partner? Is that new? Do you have one? Who's your partner?"

"Uh, no one," Antonio answers the last question.

"Really?" Kotetsu peers up at him. "C'mon, you're not that good. If anyone needs help, it's you," he says, grinning.

"Bullshit!" Antonio sputters. "I'm not the one racking up the fines!"

They argue their way back into the kitchen, where Kotetsu plops back down at the table and takes a second helping of fried rice. Antonio sits down to his plate, slightly amazed at how he got here.

"Why aren't _we_ partners?" Kotetsu asks between mouthfuls.

Antonio shrugged. "We're at different companies."

"Ah."

They finish the meal in silence, and Kotetsu helps Antonio clean up.

"Bed?" Kotetsu says, after he gives a great wide yawn.

"Um, sure." Antonio's feet take him automatically to the bedroom, although his heart starts thudding in his chest. He hadn't – he didn't – he couldn't share a bed with Kotetsu.

"Here. Bathroom's through there, use whatever. Towels under the sink." He just recently changed the sheets on the bed, thankfully. He won't bother with them. "Um."

Kotetsu's shrugged off his vest, and pauses with one hand on his shirt buttons. He looks at Antonio and then away, eyes wandering toward the bed. "Are you –"

"I'll just –" Antonio pointedly looks away from the bed.

"Do you – ?" Kotetsu looks confused, _finally_. Losing his memory, learning again his wife has died, not remembering the past 5 or 6 years of his life – that's manageable, but it's sharing a bed with Antonio that puzzles him.

"I'll sleep on the couch!" Antonio sputters out, and leaps out the door. He pauses just before shutting it to mutter, "G'night," and then runs away to the living room.

The couch is shit, but Antonio's state of mind is so wild and all over the place he wouldn't sleep very well anyways. He scrunches into the small space, legs hanging over the edge, and covers his face with his hands.

He is an idiot, an idiot, an idiot. Why did he say that? _Boyfriends_? The worst part is, what happens when Kotetsu gets his memory back? What will Antonio say – just kidding, haha, I was just joking! Gotcha!

And what about the others? Kotetsu's going to end up seeing his partner Barnaby sooner or later. And his daughter and his mother.

Antonio tucks his head into the couch pillow and wills himself to sleep. He'll just have to tell Kotetsu the truth tomorrow. And then accept the consequences. And then deposit him at Brook's place. The thought of giving him up to Brooks makes him clench his fists, but. That's stupid. He's got to get over this. Brooks isn't a bad guy, he'll take care of Kotetsu, help him get his memories back.

His _real_ memories, not fake ones like Antonio's doing.

...

Antonio's in the middle of a weird dream involving late fees for his old school books – he swore he'd returned them! – when he opens his eyes, and a face is staring at him from the top of the couch.

"Gah!" Antonio sits bolt upright.

"Ahh!" The face falls back out of sight and Antonio hears a thump as something hits the floor.

"Kotetsu?" Antonio drags himself up, and there's Kotetsu sprawled on the floor, rubbing the back of his head.

"Ow." Kotetsu lifts himself upright and glares at Antonio.

Antonio rubs his eyes. "What are you doing?"

"Couldn't sleep," Kotetsu says, and folds his arms across his chest. He leans a hip against the back of the couch. He looks tired, hair a wild mess around his head, face shadowed.

Antonio sighs. Of course he's feeling tired – he took a beating today and some sort of _NEXT_ blow to the head. He swings his legs off the couch, untangling them from the thin blanket he'd brought to sleep with, and pats the open space on the couch. "Sid'down. Want some tea?" He's pretty sure he has tea.

Antonio goes to make tea and Kotetsu settles down on the couch. He accepts the cup from Antonio and cradles it in the palms of his hands, staring into it like he can read his fortune in the bottom.

Antonio sits down next to him, pulling the hem of his boxers down. He'd just stripped out of his clothes, since his pajamas were in the bedroom, and now he was feeling a little underdressed.

Kotetsu had done the same, earlier, and was sitting in his boxers and an undershirt. Antonio tosses the blanket over his legs, and Kotetsu mutters a thanks. They sprawl on the couch and sip their tea.

"How'd she die?" Kotetsu asked abruptly, and Antonio should have known this was what was keeping him up.

"I mean –" Kotetsu continued, waving a hand. "Cancer, I know, but." He hesitates. "Was I – did –"

"Were you there for her?" Antonio supplies. Kotetsu nods. "Of course you were, dumbass. You were at the hospital every day."

A small smile flits across Kotetsu's face at Antonio's words. "Yeah. I mean. _When_ she died."

Antonio runs a hand through his hair. "You were – out. In costume. Wild Tiger."

Kotetsu's expression doesn't change much. He looks like he already knew the answer, and was just waiting to hear it confirmed. He looks down into his teacup, again, and Antonio continues.

"She told you to, though."

Kotetsu glances back up at the words.

"She wanted you to go out and be a hero. Help people. So you did what she told you to."

And he kept doing it, even now. Being a hero, helping people. Antonio reached out without a thought, and rested a hand on Kotetsu's shoulder. Squeezed for a second, and then let it drop.

They sat for a while more, in silence, and Antonio left Kotetsu alone to shift through his thoughts.

He'd just drained the last bit of his tea, and was thinking about making more, when Kotetsu shifted closer. He lifted up Antonio's arm and ducked under it, tucking himself into Antonio's side.

Antonio caught his breath, feeling Kotetsu pressed up against him. He slowly dropped his arm down, carefully. His heart was beating so loudly that he could feel it vibrate through his chest, and he hoped Kotetsu couldn't feel it. He's just feeling bad, he told himself sternly, and took some breaths, tightening his arm around Kotetsu.

"I miss her," Kotetsu said a few minutes later, when Antonio's breath had finally started evening out.

"Yeah," Antonio agreed. Tomoe had been awesome. She'd been the perfect mix of warmth and kindness and kick-ass to keep Kotetsu in line.

They sit in silence and eventually Antonio hears Kotetsu's breaths turning into hitching snores. He slides away carefully and covers Kotetsu up with the blanket. Then he lays down in his own bed and tries not to think about how _good_ it felt to hold Kotetsu. He'd been _comforting_ his best friend, not cuddling his boyfriend. Nothing else.

He kept reminding himself of that until he finally passed out.


	3. Again, and again

Thank you, dear reader, for correcting me on Dr. Saito's name!

...

Antonio wakes up first, somehow alert even though he's only gotten maybe a couple good hours of sleep. He checks on Kotetsu, first thing, but Kotetsu's snoring away, sprawled like a starfish on the couch, blanket mostly lying on the floor. Antonio adjusts the blanket over him and then starts the coffeepot before he showers.

When he gets out of the shower, there's a missed call from Brooks, and Antonio scowls as he heads into the kitchen to get his coffee. He's got to figure something out, since it's clear that Barnaby's concern for his partner means he's going to keep calling.

Of course, he's got every right to be concerned. Antonio would be, too. Kotetsu without his memory just isn't _right_.

Antonio goes to pour two cups of coffee and pauses. He should really let Kotetsu sleep, give him a chance to recover from yesterday. Plus, Antonio thinks, it's another way to keep him for himself a little longer. Antonio feels a pang of guilt at the thought.

He's feeling a lot of strong emotions lately, and it's making him a bit dizzy.

Just, he thinks, as he drifts over to peer at Kotetsu, sleeping, and really _looks_ at his face. The face he's practically memorized from all the years of knowing him – since their rivalry in high school, then becoming friends, then delving into a sort of rivalry as Heroes. Not much of one, though, since Antonio consistently ranks last and Kotetsu's caused so much building and structural damage, he isn't much better. Except, though, that he _is_. Kotetsu's never let inconsequential things like fines and unpopularity get in the way of being a real hero.

And it's that thought that really drives the point home, the one he'd realized late last night, alone and insomniac in bed. Antonio _can't_ do this. Not to his best friend, not to the man he loved. Was _in_ love with.

He'd tell Kotetsu. Something. The truth. How much Antonio really felt for him, it took him forever to figure it out, how he'd pretended otherwise since then, and then, he'd just blurted it out at the worst moment, the absolute _worst_, but he hadn't meant to mislead Kotetsu.

Just, Antonio thinks again, as he bends to touch the wild, dark hair, irresistibly drawn to touching Kotetsu. Just give me a couple of hours more, then I'm good.

He sits on the chair next to the couch, away from Kotetsu and takes a drink his coffee. Hell, if he's only got a couple of hours, then, shit. He'll make the most of them.

He heads to the couch, gently lifts Kotetsu's feet out of the way, and sits himself on the cushions, replacing Kotetsu's feet on top of his lap.

Koetetsu doesn't stir. Antonio rests one hand on Kotetsu's ankle and strokes the thin skin there. Kotetsu has skinny legs, he decides, and smiles to himself, amused. It's better to focus on that then the edge of guilt that resides in the back of his mind.

After a few moments, he sends Brooks a text, saying they'll meet him at Apollon Media to sort things out later in the day. Then he reads some fan mail sitting out on the coffee table – he does have fans, still, believe it or not – and some notes from the companies he's representing. Fairly standard stuff, but he tends to put it off, so now is as good of time as ever.

Kotetsu wakes up fairly soon. He yawns, jaw cracking, and sits up, rubbing the back of his neck.

"How's your head?" Antonio asks, when Kotetsu finally blinks at him sleepily.

"Hm," Kotetsu touches the back of his head. "S'okay, how's yours?" He quirks a smile at Antonio.

"It's fine, stupid," Antonio snorts.

Kotetsu yawns again and kicks Antonio's leg lazily. "Coffee?"

"If your head's fine, you get it," Antonio swats his legs just as gently back.

Kotetsu pouts for a moment before he sighs and heaves himself upward. Antonio feels disappointed for moment as the skin beneath his hands disappear, and he's left holding onto nothing. Then Kotetsu scratches his ass and turns to shuffle off to the kitchen, and the feeling slips easily away.

"Hey, get me one too!" Antonio holds his cup up for a refill.

Kotetsu mutters something from the kitchen, but shuffles back out with the coffee pot and pours some for Antonio. Then he falls into the couch, a few inches away from Antonio but close enough for their knees to knock together.

Halfway through his cup, Kotetsu starts to wake up, and sits up a little straighter.

"So, what's the plan? Do we have the day off?" He yawns a bit at the end of his sentence, and stretches out more. His knee bumps Antonio's.

"Sorta?" Antonio says, and sips at his coffee.

"Hmm?" Kotetsu is shifting around on the couch, and his knee bumps Antonio's again.

"Well, we're always on call –" Antonio lifts his left arm up to show his communicator strapped to his wrist, "but I was thinking we should go in and visit the doctor – " Antonio lowered his arm and grabbed Kotetsu's bony knee to keep it from bumping his, _again_, "and see if there's any more info on the _NEXT _that knocked you out." And meet up with Barnaby, although Antonio hesitates to say that out loud.

"Sure," Kotetsu says, although his leg keeps jiggling, and maybe he's nervous? Antonio keeps his hand on his knee, and squeezes it softly in reassurance. He hadn't thought of that. Kotetsu seemed so much like himself, even though he couldn't remember the past few years, that Antonio kept forgetting that nothing probably made sense.

Well, Kotetsu'd never been the type to freak out easily. And he remembers being a hero, and so _that_ wasn't anything for him to stress about. And he remembers Antonio, a fact that makes Antonio feel fortunate and responsible all at once. He's so open and trusting towards Antonio, and why not? They were friends back then, so Kotetsu still thinks of him as a friend.

(Not anything more, though.)

Antonio's startled from his thoughts by Kotetsu touching his wrist, and he jerks his hand away, embarrassed to have been squeezing Kotetsu's knee so hard.

"Sorry," Antonio mumbles, and then Kotetsu pokes him in the arm. "Ow! What was that for?"

"You're thinking too hard," Kotetsu says, and leans closer to poke Antonio in the forehead. "Why?"

Antonio leans away and rubs at his forehead. He hesitates, uncertain what to say.

"I'm going to get my memories back," Kotetsu says, squinting at him, and Antonio winces at his optimism. "And even if I don't, well. Who cares?" He shrugs philosophically. "I've got you, right?"

_Always_. The answer springs to mind instantly, no hesitation or uncertainty, and Antonio nods because there's no way he can put such emotion into words. But he tries. "Of course you do. Couldn't get rid of me if you, well, you know," he stumbles to a stop, leaving the rest to be untangled by Kotetsu.

Kotetsu smiles anyways, understanding. "Yeah. So stop it," he says, flicking Antonio's head, _ow_, and settles back down, a little closer to Antonio, and knocks his bony knee against Antonio's. Again.

...

Eventually, too soon for Antonio, they're up and moving, getting ready to leave for the Apollon Media building to visit Dr. Saito. Kotetsu's rooting around his pocket for his mask as he follows Antonio out the door.

He really likes the idea of wearing it, he must not have had it by the date he last remembers, Antonio thinks.

Kotetsu finds it and gets it adjusted on his face, smoothing out the edges with his fingertips. Then they walk down the street – more like stroll, actually. Kotetsu tucks his hands in his pocket and looks around as they walk, and Antonio's getting a little warm in his leather jacket when all of a sudden he hears the emergency beep of his communicator. _Shit_, he thinks, and lifts his arm.

"_Heroes_!" Agnes Joubert's voice is clear and commanding over the line.

Kotetsu says, peering at his arm, "Mine's not working!"

Antonio would roll his eyes, but he's glad for once that it isn't going off.

"I've got it," he says, and he dials his location in to the company vehicle so he can get suited up. "You stay here!"

"But –" Kotetsu's arguing, and of course, he's not going to listen.

"Kotetsu!" Antonio barks, and tries to put as much authority in his voice as possible. "I _know_ – but," and he has to sigh, because Kotetsu is glaring at him, and he's not going to say no, and why did Antonio ever expect otherwise?

He exhales, and doesn't say _please be careful_, because that would be pointless, Kotetsu will always do what he thinks is right, will always put himself in danger to save others. So instead, he says, "Don't be stupid," and Kotetsu, just grins that confident grin, and Antonio feels his chest tighten because it Kotetsu is _still_ Kotetsu, no matter what.

He takes a second to help Kotetsu work his wrist communicator, so that _his_ company vehicle will pick him up and get him suited up properly. Antonio makes him stay put for that, at least, and since Kotetsu doesn't know the situation or where to go, he agrees. Although he's not happy about it, Antonio can tell, but Antonio leaves him and heads off to change into Rock Bison quickly. Hopefully he can get there first and get things stopped before Kotetsu can get there.

10 seconds, and Antonio's feeling deja vu all over again. It's the same _NEXT_ as yesterday, and although he's not first on the scene – Origami and Dragon Kid are already there – he's not much use, either. He keeps getting shoved aside, like he weighs nothing.

Origami and Dragon Kid are having trouble as well, although Dragon Kid's lightning is pretty effective at keeping the _NEXT_ from leaving the scene, they still can't seem to get near them.

Antonio grits his teeth and balls his hands into fists and lumbers as fast as he can back towards them. Sometimes, he hates his armor – he doesn't really need it, not when his invulnerability is activated, and it just slows him down. But it's good show, good theater for the audience, even if he races past the _NEXT_ and into a wall, because at that point he can't slow himself down.

"Fuck," he growls, as he tries to pull his horns free from the cement wall, and Agnes chides him from the comm, because the audience members might hear him.

"Sorry," he mutters, even though he's not, because he's way too worried Kotetsu will arrive and get blasted by that _NEXT_ woman with the mind-erasing powers, and Kotetsu losing even more memory would just be horrible.

So of course, his worst fears are realized. Or even worse, because Wild Tiger blazes onto the scene, and he's in the sidecar attached to Barnaby.

Antonio just barely refrains from cursing again.

It descends into mayhem, then, for a moment, because Wild Tiger rushes the scene, and manages to get the male _NEXT _guy with a good, solid hit, but then the _NEXT _woman turns on him with a fury and knocks him through twenty feet of air with a blast.

Again.

10 seconds is all it takes for Antonio to be there, but he's too late – Barnaby is already kneeling down by Kotetsu, hands on his shoulders, shouting.

"Wild Tiger!"

Antonio leans over – he can't kneel, not with this armor – desperately trying to check on Kotetsu, but Barnaby's in the way.

"Kotetsu," Barnaby whispers urgently, and Kotetsu doesn't respond. Antonio can feel his chest tighten, and has to remember to take a breath, because _Kotetsu's not moving_.

That woman – the _NEXT_ woman – is laughing, and Antonio feels fury wash over him, making his breaths even shallower, sharper, and he whirls around and charges.

He almost gets her – sweeps by her by less than an inch, and sees her face, angry and contorted and full of _malice_ – and she leaps out of the way, grabbing her companion, and starts to take off. Antonio and Origami, on his flying shuriken, try to stop her, but Antonio's off balance and useless.

Origami manages to get rope around her ankle, though. She slams to the ground, but throws up another blast, and Antonio barely has time to shout a warning before Sky High sweeps Origami out of the way. And then she's gone.

Agnes is demanding they go after her, and Sky High rockets off after her, followed by Origami, after a moment. Antonio is shaking, staring at the stretch of buildings she's disappearing into, and knows he can't catch her. Too slow, too slow.

(10 seconds too slow.)

He whirls back around to go to Kotetsu, and staunchly ignores the stab of jealousy when he sees Barnaby with Kotetsu, hands around his face, leaning over him. Dragon Kid's standing next to them, worry on her face, and Antonio feels another twinge – guilt, this time. They're just worried for Kotetsu, but Antonio wants to shove them all out of the way and gather Kotetsu up in his arms and never let go.

He settles for standing next to Dragon Kid, and after a few minutes of worry, Kotetsu starts to blink, coming around.

"Eh?" Are his first words, and the relief is like a wave, crashing through Antonio.

"Mr. Tiger!" Dragon Kid cries, and Barnaby is smiling.

"Kotetsu," Barnaby says fondly.

"Who?"

The shock is palpable. Barnaby goes pale and Dragon Kid gasps. Antonio stiffens his knees to keep from swaying. This couldn't get any worse, he'd thought, but apparently he'd thought wrong.

Then Kotetsu grins. "Kidding," he says, and everyone freezes.

And stares at him. Like – how could he be _joking_ at a time like this.

"Asshole," Antonio says, and Kotetsu turns his grin to him.

"Aw, you love it," he says, and his eyes say something else to Antonio, and Antonio's so thankful his mask hides his face, because. Fuck. Yes, he does love it. He loves _him_.

Barnaby draws back, and looks over at Antonio. Antonio can't meet his eyes, even through the mask.

"Don't _do_, that, Mr. Tiger!" Dragon Kid scowls, breaking the silence.

Kotetsu shrugs and winces and smiles apologetically, and it's fine, for a moment.

Then Barnaby talks.

"Do you remember us?" He asks.

Kotetsu glances at all of them, and his gaze seems to linger on Antonio, but he shrugs. "Just the stupid cow over there. You guys new?"

Antonio doesn't even respond to the insult. Shit. No good. "Do you remember this morning?" He says, and Barnaby _looks_ at him like he's done something terrible.

"You mean at your place? Coffee and – uh, on the couch?"

Now Barnaby's looking at Antonio like he's _scum_.

"Right, uh. Well, at least you didn't lose any more memory?" Antonio fumbles.

Barnaby looks unhappy, but he rallies himself. "I'm your partner, Barnaby Brooks." He offers a hand, and helps Kotetsu up.

"Oh right, Antonio's mentioned you," Kotetsu shakes the proffered hand, and Barnaby looks slightly less furious.

"I'm Dragon Kid!" The younger hero announces, and Kotetsu grins at her and pats her shoulder.

"Nice to meet you too, young lady."

There's an awkward moment where they all look at each other. Antonio's about to speak when Barnaby touches Kotetsu's shoulder.

"Can we talk? I'd like to see if we can work on getting back your memory. Dr. Saito –"

"He said there's nothing to be done," Kotetsu said, interrupting.

"Yes, but we've gathered more information of the _NEXT,_ now that we've met them again – and it's possible that more could be done." Barnaby is firm. "And we should at least get you checked up again, now that you've been hit twice."

Dragon Kid is nodding and voicing her support. "They might have caught them by now!"

Agnes chimes in with a "No such luck, heroes."

Crap. That sucks. "Well, go in and get your thick skull checked out," Antonio adds. It can't hurt, after all. Even if it does work and Kotetsu ends up remembering – well, Antonio is prepared to beg for forgiveness for awhile.

And honestly, he knows he can't keep Kotetsu away from the others forever. If they understand the situation, and learn about Antonio's lie – well, so be it. He'll beg forgiveness from everyone if he has too.

"Tch, fine." Kotetsu shrugs, although he gives Antonio the evil eye first. "I'll come over after that, okay?"

They all look at Antonio, although Dragon Kid just nods, because to her it's Wild Tiger's buddy watching out for him.

Barnaby's another story. He shoots Antonio a sharp glance. "I think you should stay with me. After all, we're partners," he says to Kotetsu.

"Nah, I'm good with the cow," Kotetsu says, an odd little smile on his face.

"But –" Barnaby starts.

And here it is – Kotetsu's going to say something about them being together, Antonio's sure, but he shrugs instead, and waves a hand.

"We'll catch up on the way there," he says, and drops a hand on Antonio's arm, that part that's uncovered, and lets it linger before dropping off. "See you soon," he says quietly, and walks on, and Antonio's breath catches in his throat.

"Yeah," he says uncertainly, and hopes no one – especially Kotetsu – heard the tremble in his voice.


	4. About to start trouble

Thank you for the reviews! (I have no problem with Barnaby, btw – and neither does Antonio. He's just jealous, lol.) This is a bit late so have a super extra long chapter! with actual kissing in it omg _finally._

(Definitely makes the T rating for kissing/making out at the end, fyi!)_  
_

...

Antonio gets back to his apartment eventually, after a round of interviews and some photography for his companies, and feels more exhausted than he rightfully should be. He hadn't really done much in the last battle, but the events of the last two days has worn him down. Not necessarily physically, but mentally, for damn sure.

He makes a pot of tea before he sits down on the couch, but after he does he feels like he's weighted down like an anchor and may never get up. Maybe he could take a nap? Probably not, though, with Kotetsu off with Barnaby doing god knows what.

_Hero_ things, Antonio chides himself, and he's too old to be jealous of this shit.

Truthfully, he's not _that_ jealous. Mostly he's weary, tired of this game of pretend. Brooks and Kotetsu have something that he and Kotetsu don't, and that's okay. Because him and Kotetsu are _best friends_, and that counts for something. It counts for a lot.

His phone blips at him, and he digs it out of his pocket to see several messages is waiting for him.

_Heard your bestie hit his head, is he doing okay?_

and a little while later:

_he's not answering his phone. he's with you right?_

Nathan's name was on the screen. Antonio sighs. Yet another person he feels like he's lying to when he says

_yes – with brooks right now_

He sends back, and Nathan quickly texts him an

_;) ok, well I wouldn't want to interrupt. ta darling~_

Antonio grits his teeth and drops his head back on the couch forcefully. Of all people, he'd expected Nathan to catch onto his 'crush,' but apparently he's hid it too well.

In fairness, he kind of _had_ – it'd taken himself forever to realize what was going on.

He closes his eyes and lets himself drift, just for a moment, and when he comes to someone's banging on the door.

Antonio hauls himself up and the phone slips from his lap to the floor with a clatter. When he snags it he sees several missed phone calls. He hadn't even woken up, jeez.

Kotetsu is standing there in his street clothes, leaning against the doorframe with one hand, the other held behind him.

"What took you so long?" He says, annoyance in his tone, and Antonio rolls his eyes.

"What took _you_ so long?" he grunts back, and Kotetsu just elbows past him into the apartment, a suitcase in his hand.

A suitcase. Antonio absorbs this information and follows him in, and watches Kotetsu shuck his hat and mask onto the coffee table, and take the suitcase into the bedroom.

_His_ bedroom. Their – _no_.

Kotetsu doesn't bother to unpack it, just slings it on the bed and then turns around. He tilts his head when he sees Antonio hovering in the doorway.

"What's for dinner?" He asks, and Antonio blinks.

"Er, I forgot," he mumbles, and Kotetsu just shrugs, not even bothering to complain at him.

"Should we go out or order in? Whattya think?"

"Um." Antonio looks around him like the walls might help him understand what's going on. "Order in?"

"S'what I thought," Kotetsu agreed, and after a second of staring Antonio turns around and goes to the kitchen to the drawer full of takeout menus, where they spend five minutes arguing about what to get – _not_ fried rice again, Antonio is adamant – before settling on Thai.

They eat in relative silence, and Antonio broods a bit while he cleans up, and Kotetsu slumps in front of the television.

That night they sleep like before – Antonio on the couch, and Kotetsu in his bed – and that night Kotetsu wakes Antonio up, like before.

"Can't sleep," he says simply, and Antonio sits up and shifts over, so Kotetsu can sit next to him. They don't really talk, just sit there, and the silence isn't _bad_ – just slow and heavy. Comfortable. They end up falling asleep like that, Kotetsu's head on his chest and Antonio's arm around him. Antonio kind of – okay, _really_ likes it, so he doesn't complain too much about the sore neck and the lifeless arm he wakes up with.

Kotetsu doesn't either, surprisingly. He just yawns and stretches his arms over his head and goes to make coffee for the both of them.

Once they're showered and dressed, and eaten some eggs – he really needs to pick up some food, god – Antonio sucks in a breath and sucks it up.

"Kotetsu?"

Kotetsu looks at him and narrows his eyes.

"What?"

"Er," Antonio says, and gestures to the couch. "Can you sit down for a second? I...I need –"

"I'm hungry," Kotetsu huffs, arms crossing over his chest.

"...what? We just ate."

"_Eggs_," Kotetsu says, like it's the worse thing in the world, like Antonio's fed him something completely unpalatable and unforgiving.

"You _liked_ them," Antonio feels compelled to defend himself.

Kotetsu rubs his flat stomach and grumbles again, louder this time, "I'm _hungry_."

Antonio sighs and runs a hand through his hair. What is this? Kotetsu is _such_ a child sometimes. "...Fine. Let's go out." He's sure there's a place that serves breakfast somewhere close by.

Kotetsu shrugs. "Well, let's just get some groceries."

"Eh?"

Kotetsu goes to get his hat. "Well, you're just as good as any cook," he says, voice slightly muffled as he digs around the floor by the couch. How'd his hat ended up _there_, Antonio doesn't know.

"Oh. Thanks," Antonio says, slightly pleased by the compliment. Sort of. Does this make him the girl? No, not in _fake_ relationship, he tells himself. Although he feels slightly annoyed by the implication, he still follows Kotetsu out the door.

...

Grocery shopping with Kotetsu is surprisingly low key. Kotetsu points out all the things he likes to eat, and Antonio rolls his eyes and selects about half of them. The other half is just _crap_, and how is Kotetsu so skinny eating all that terrible junk?

Not that Antonio is much of a cook. He eats plainly but he tries to take in some fruits and vegetables, at least. Kotetsu is staring at a pineapple like he's never seen one before, and Antonio rolls his eyes and picks one up.

They haul the bags back to his apartment and Antonio makes himself bring up yesterday, even if he doesn't want to.

"So, any news on the _NEXTs_?"

"Some," Kotetsu says. "Sky High caught the man that was at the scene yesterday."

He did? Dammit. That means more points and an even bigger gap that Antonio will never bridge. Ah well, at least it's good for potentially helping with Kotetsu's memory.

Because Antonio does want that. He _does_.

"Did they get anything? On the memory – eh, stuff?" Antonio swallows, and doesn't quite meet Kotetsu's eyes.

Kotetsu looks at him, nose scrunching up. "Nope."

"No?"

"It's the woman, anyways, with the powers."

"Hmmph," Antonio murmurs.

"Uhmhm," Kotetsu says in wise agreement.

...

After they get the groceries unpacked Kotetsu pokes at Antonio, demanding a sandwich. Antonio swats him away, but makes the damn sandwich anyways, because he is a complete pushover when it comes to Kotetsu. He grumbles about it and makes Kotetsu clean up after him, just so he doesn't get any thoughts about abusing that privilege, though.

"So," Antonio brings up, when they've got the kitchen cleaned up and there's not much else to do. He can either keep putting this off or man up, and as much as Antonio's enjoying the domesticity – it's too much like they're a couple when they're _not_.

"Barnaby wants me to meet him to go over some Apollon things," Kotetsu interjects.

"Oh," Antonio says stupidly, surprised at the suddenness of Kotetsu's announcement. He drops a hand on the counter, and Kotetsu studies him.

"That okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, okay," Antonio says, because it's not _not_ okay, they're partners, they're heroes, they've got things to do. He was just planning on –

"Great! So I'll see you later?" Kotetsu smiles, eyes crinkling at the corners.

"Okay," Antonio repeats in the same stupid voice. Kotetsu reaches out and squeezes his arm, again, the same gesture as before.

"I'll be back by dinner!" He calls over his shoulder as he heads to the door, hands tucked in his pockets

Antonio scratches the back of his head, feeling like he's been run over for some reason. Kotetsu does, of course, have his duties as a hero. So there's no reason for him to feel like something's off – _every_thing's off.

He shakes his head. He'll tell Kotetsu at dinner tonight. Deciding this, he feels satisfied, and turns toward the couch. Might as well get to his own duties, then.

...

It's after dinnertime. Way, way after dinnertime, and Antonio holds his phone in his hand, considering what kind of text to send. Angry? Worried? Both?

He's checked in the _Hero TV_, and there's no crisis anywhere, but that doesn't mean that Kotetsu's not sticking his nose somewhere where it doesn't belong, getting in trouble and/or causing massive amounts of property damage.

Antonio shuts his eyes and rubs his free hand along his temple. It's never a dull moment with Kotetsu, and most of the time Antonio likes that, even if it means his blood pressure is shot through the roof and he'll likely die of a stroke rather than a hero-related injury.

But it's a little too soon after all the recent events for Kotetsu to be bringing him so much grief. He seems pretty comfortable for a guy that's lost part his memory, and maybe that's Kotetsu's natural adaptability and roll-with-the-punches attitude, but on _top_ of that he's been hit twice with some kind of blast. And even if Kotetsu is the type to shrug it off, abilities making him heal quicker than others, _Antonio_ still worries.

He flicks on the TV in hopes of distracting himself, but it's most just a stream of unfocused images as he mulls over what to do. He's closer and closer to becoming stupidly mad, but holding it off, just in case Kotetsu really is _in_ some kind of trouble.

The thought twists in the back of his mind, digs in and doesn't let go. If Kotetsu _is_ in trouble – Antonio is pulling his boots and his jacket on, hurrying out the door in no time.

He texts Brooks, and some of the other heroes asking about Kotetsu's whereabouts – nothing suspicious, or alarming, so as not to worry anyone else, and walks around, keeping a wary eye out.

Nothing – not even a robbery or purse-snatching to distract himself. Not that he's disappointed. Antonio stuffs his hands in his jacket pockets and leans against a wall. Sternbild is never so quiet when Kotetsu's about to start trouble, he thinks.

His phone buzzes in his pocket, and he pulls it out to see it's Nathan who's texted him –

_at the bar – where have you been? come take care of your boy, he's acting up again_

Antonio sighs and shuts his phone. _Goddammit_, really Kotetsu!? You couldn't have let me know this before going out and (probably, most likely) getting drunk?

Antonio fumes all the way to the bar. He's still fuming when he sees everyone's there – the boys, anyways, the girls don't seem old enough to drink – laughing and having fun and Kotetsu, well. Kotetsu is completely nonchalant about his inability to call or text or get in contact with Antonio, smiling lazily and sliding his half-empty drink towards Antonio.

Antonio glares at him and orders his own drink, and Kotetsu _tch's_ him and swallows the rest of what's in his glass.

"Aww, go easy on him," Nathan chimes in, smiling slightly as Antonio turns his glare to him.

Brooks is nowhere to be found, but he never came out with the group before, so Antonio doesn't expect him to pop up. But Keith is here, holding what is most likely a glass of water, and Ivan is as well, looking like he's holding the same thing.

_Kids_, Antonio thinks, and takes a good long sip of his decidedly alcoholic drink.

"H-_ey_, that's the spirit," Kotetsu says, and slides to the front of his chair and tugs on his arm. "Sit, sit." He pulls at Antonio's jacket until he sits down reluctantly at the chair that Ivan willingly vacates.

"Goood cow," Kotetsu says encouragingly, and grins when Antonio mutters, "Shut _it_." He pats him on the back and his hand lingers, long fingers tucking into the space between Antonio's back and the chair.

Antonio slides him a look. What is he doing?

Kotetsu's grin is sloppy, his hat tilted to hide one eye. He looks devilish, Antonio thinks. Getting in another kind of trouble.

"Glad you could join us!" Keith says confidently, lifting up his glass in greeting.

"Thanks," Antonio says shrugs, but Kotetsu sees the lifting glass and straightens up, eyes going wide.

"A toast!" he cries.

"No," Antonio says.

"Yes, a toast!" Keith echoes, taking on his hero pose. Don't encourage the drunk idiot, Antonio thinks, irritated.

Kotetsu leans closer, pulling at Antonio at the same time, so he's tight against Kotetsu, hands on his lap in front of him.

"To friends," Kotetsu says, and everyone cheers and takes a drink. Reluctantly Antonio raises his glass, and takes a sip.

"To lovers."

Antonio chokes a little, drink spilling out of the corner of his mouth, but luckily no one really notices. The looks on Ivan's and Keith's faces and Nathan's smug laughter are enough distraction. They're all too busy looking embarrassed and/or curious to pay attention to Antonio.

"To those who are the same!" Kotetsu lifts his glass high and then tips it back. "Dammit," he says, when he finds the glass empty.

Antonio _really_ chokes, sputtering, one hand coming up to cover his mouth.

"You alright?" Ivan asks, concerned.

"Yeah," Antonio coughs, clearing his throat. He's fine – just going to kill Kotetsu, that's all, don't mind him.

"Well," Keith says brightly. "We should be going."

Antonio whips his head to stare at him, betrayed. He's just gotten here, and what? They're leaving?

"G-good luck," Ivan says, and nods at Kotetsu when Antonio looks confused, and _really_? That was the only reason they'd called him?

Nathan laughs a little behind his hand, and Antonio turns his head to shoot him a dirty look.

"What?" The tall man says innocently, batting his eyelashes. "Take care of him," he finishes smoothly, and slides out the bar with Keith and Ivan in tow.

Antonio glares until his eyes start to hurt and then closes them with a sigh. Kotetsu's ordering another drink beside him – "And one for the cow! But put it on his tab, okay?"

Antonio sighs again and turns around to face the bar, like Kotetsu. He stiffens as Kotetsu leans his shoulder against him, head close enough that he's breathing in his ear.

"What's wrong? You sure are sour tonight. Here, have a drink."

Antonio takes the cool glass pressed into his hand and deposits the empty one to the side.

"What are you doing?" He finally dredges up the courage to ask.

"Eh?" Kotetsu leans over, elbows on the bar. "I'm having a drink with my boyfriend!"

If he'd had liquid in his mouth, he'd have spit it out – or choked again. "I –" Antonio starts, but stops, feeling his face heat up.

Kotetsu makes a cooing noise. "You're blushing! It's a cute look for you, cow."

"Shut _up_."

Kotetsu laughs. "Okay, drink your drink, here." He flaps a hand at Antonio, smiling and fiddling with his own glass.

Antonio drinks, just to cool himself down. And to give him a chance to look away from Kotetsu. It's a nice, smooth alcohol, so at least he's drinking good stuff, even if it's on his own money.

"I don't know why you're so embarrassed," Kotetsu keeps talking, playing with the drink in front of him. It's chilled, filled with ice, and Kotetsu is drawing lines in the condensation on the glass. Antonio watches his long fingers trace the contour of the glass. He's always liked Kotetsu's fingers, like they were made for playing and instrument – skillful and sensual.

Wow. The alcohol is – really hitting him already. Antonio takes a breath and resolves himself to slow down. He'll be the one taking them home, anyways. He's got to be prepared to haul a drunk Kotetsu across the city.

Kotetsu turns his head and smiles at him, eyes half-hidden by his hat and the length of his black-brown bangs. His hair is a really rich tone, not one color or the next, and sometimes Antonio swears he sees red shades in it, when Kotetsu bothers to take his hat off in the sunlight.

God. Listen to him. Clutching his drink, Antonio takes a large sip to get rid of the lump in his throat. The liquid goes down easily, barely burning, and he finishes it and places it down on the bar with a thump.

"C'mon, old man, let's go," he says gruffly, and Kotetsu whines for a minute.

"But you just got here!"

"You've had plenty," Antonio points out.

Kotetsu mumbles something rude but obediently tips back what's left of his drink into his mouth. Antonio watches the line of his throat, adam's apple bobbing as he swallows, and forces his eyes away.

The alcohol has made him feel pleasant, loose but mostly functional. Much more functional than Kotetsu, clearly.

Kotetsu _looks_ like he can handle his booze. He stands up just fine and throws some money down for the bartender. He walks like he usually does, hands in his pockets, whistling. But it's slight – Antonio can see the extra sway in his step, the not quite balanced way he leans forward. And – and – _wait for it_ –

He takes a step too far over and rather than overcompensating, just falls into Antonio.

Antonio catches him and wraps an arm around him, hand on Kotetsu's bicep, keeping him steady. Kotetsu grunts and gets his own hand on Antonio's back, using it as leverage to pull himself upright – but not away.

"Whoops," he says breathlessly, and grins up at Antonio.

"Idiot," Antonio rolls his eyes. He expects Kotetsu to push away, stagger upright and keep walking. Like he usually does. Kotetsu just keeps walking forward, face pressed into Antonio's side, arm still around him. Tucked very neatly under his arm, like he fits there.

Antonio follows Kotetsu's strides quickly, to keep him upright, guiding Kotetsu a little when he seems prone to weaving.

It's strange how much they've been touching – how _close_ they've been, physically. Well, what does he expect? Antonio scolds himself. He's told Kotetsu they were boyfriends, and Kotetsu was acting like they were – really, actually, seriously acting like it, touching and cuddling and arguing like old married men over food and cleaning. Antonio just hasn't expected Kotetsu to be so demonstrative, so comfortable with this.

It's _weird_.

And wrong, of course. All begun under false pretenses, and Antonio should – needs – _has_ to tell him.

Kotetsu hums a little tune under his breath and Antonio doesn't have the heart to push him away, to grip the collar of his shirt and haul him upright and put some distance between them. Because he can already figure out that when this is all said and done, there'll be _real_ physical distance between them.

At Antonio's apartment, they separate to take their shoes off, and Antonio throws his jacket on the rack by the door. Kotetsu stumbles to the bathroom, and Antonio heads straight to drop into the couch and slouch bonelessly against the arm. He hears the toilet flush and the faucet run, and then Kotetsu comes out.

Antonio doesn't know what he expects, then – for Kotetsu to sit next to him, sure, maybe even close to him, like he has been. But the touch of hands against his cheeks, not at all. Or the shock of Kotetsu turning his head, frowning at him when Antonio blinks, surprised beyond comprehension. He surely doesn't expect Kotetsu to lean forward, pausing just for a moment, long enough for Antonio to open his mouth to speak –

And what he was going to say, he'll never be sure. Kotetsu's lips are thin, chapped, the barest hint of pressure against his. Antonio can feel the tickle of his bangs brushing across his skin and the briefest touch of tongue sliding at the edge of his open mouth, and he freezes. He's not going to touch back, he _can't_ – and then Kotetsu makes the smallest sound, a little huff of inquiry, like he's wondering why Antonio doesn't kiss back, and brushes his thumb across Antonio's jaw. Sweetly. Gently. And Antonio _melts_, gives up, gives in and puts a hand on Kotetsu's back and pulls him against his body.

He _wants_, wants this _so_ fucking _bad_ – Kotetsu is pliable, willing to be manhandled. He scrambles up and slides a leg between his, getting closer, hands sliding down to Antonio's neck and tangling in his long hair, yanking his head back so that Kotetsu can bear down on him, pressing him into the couch. It's getting hot, wet, now that Antonio's fully participating, tongues tangling together and mouths wide open. Antonio's hands run up and down Kotetsu's back, twisting through the fabric, digging at the vest to try and get at skin but it's too much work and Kotetsu's not helping, rocking against him, pressing closer and damn, Antonio just wants to push him down, spread him on the couch and cover his body with his.

Kotetsu's tongue drags across his, digging deep and wet into his mouth, sliding out so Kotetsu can bite at his bottom lip, and of course _Wild Tiger_ is trying to be the dominant one. Antonio drops his hands to his perfect ass and grips, squeezing, and it is _just_ like he's always imagined it.

Kotetsu moans –

God, jesus, what the _fuck_ are they doing? What is Antonio doing, god, they've never – and now they're just going to –

Antonio pushes, and Kotetsu resists a little, but he's smirking, like it's a game, like they're going to wrestle around for who's on top. It's the last straw and Antonio _can't_.

He jumps up and pushes Kotetsu off.

Kotetsu falls on his ass with a thump and a grunt.

"What the – what the hell, Antonio?" Kotetsu wheezes, long legs hiked up around him as he brushes his hair out of his eyes and glares up at Antonio.

"Sorry – sorry, I. I can't – don't you know that I –" Antonio presses down on his chest, like he can press the words down, but they bubble up, keep coming, unstoppable. "I can't do this," he confesses, and the Kotetsu's eyes widen.

"Wait, wait, it's –"

"_No_." It's not okay, it's not, Antonio wants to say, all of this because he's _lied_, he's _lying_ to Kotetsu.

"– fine, just relax, I know it's weird, I know –"

"Kotetsu," Antonio says desperately, because part of him is appalled by his behavior, but part of him – Kotetsu's acting fine, like he _wants_ it – like it's a _possibility_ –

Kotetsu is drawing himself up, dusting off his knees, and Antonio pointedly doesn't look at his crotch, because his own pants feel uncomfortably tight.

He's taking advantage of his best friend.

"I – " Antonio chokes, and covers his mouth.

Kotetsu says, "Antonio," eyes dark with concern, and reaches for him.

"I _can't_," Antonio says, stepping back, and turns away – _runs_ away – and slams the door to the bedroom shut behind him.

...

(ahhh angst! But all will be explained soon enough.)


End file.
